From Homosexual to Jewish Conversion
I’m a 19 year old male in California. A couple years ago (age 17) I was atheist. I’m not Jewish, though now I’m in the conversion process. What I’m about to say is incredibly difficult to reveal, for no one but Hashem knows about this journey.
At the age of 17, my way of thinking was to follow my desires. My desires were money, narcism, homosexuality, and other disgusting acts. I only did this because every indication I has was saying it’s the correct path in life, that the pursuit of happiness is doing what you feel is best. One day, I had some new material to consider.
Someone gave me a cd titled, “Rabbi Yosef Mizrachi’s Torah and Science”. Through him, I came upon Rabbi Yaron Reuven’s story. I never knew what a Jew was before those lectures. I also didn’t know what a non jew has a stake for not following the laws of Noah. After much investigation, proofs and verification, my conclusion was the Judaism is beyond reasonable doubt (comparing to my alternatives)..
On those CD’s. I heard something shocking. It’s against the Torah law to be a homosexual!!!! I didn’t believe it!!! I clearly recall nervously searching for any sources that said it was fine but I really found nothing conclusive…I had to admit that I was wrong. I felt as if I was in one huge nightmare, wishing to wake up. My whole reality has shattered and I hysterically cried at the fact that I have to cut these negative actions / desires out of my life.
Baruch HaShem for these two Holy Rabbi’s who brought down from the Torah that I can overcome this. I listened to them word by word. I switch from audiobooks on entrepreneurship to listen to their CD’s with every second I had. Day by day I felt as if a nuclear bomb had dropped on me and that I had to withstand the threshold of being blown away.
I did teshuva every day and prayed from an English Tehillim. The mussar of these two Rabbi’s powered me through each spiritual battle. Finally…I was winning!!! I did less lustful actions to the point of none at all. Not even the thoughts come to my mind as they once did before.. It wasn’t cabalistic insights or sweet love happiness shiurim that helped me fight this nuclear blasts of the Yetzer with sexual lusts… It was fear that these two Rabbi’s implanted within me from all the constant rebuke and mussar lectures..
Baruch HaShem I was saved, I love the Jewish Nation and I thank you all for your observance and servitude in the mizvot that led to such a influence upon my life. Bezrat Hashem may Hashem bless Rabbi Yaron Reuven and Rabbi Yosef Mizrachi for saving my life. I look up to all of you Am Israel…