THIS WEEK'S FEATURED TESHUVA STORY
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My name is Stefan, I’m 27 years old.
5 years ago I remember going through a tough time in my life. I didn’t seek out Hashem initially but He obviously saw I was lost.
One day I was looking for some music to listen to on YouTube and came across a music video by Motty Steinmetz. I didn’t know anything about Jews back then. I watched the video and loved it.
Afterwards I recall asking myself “why do people hate Jews?”.
I typed that in on YouTube or Google and came across lectures by Rabbi Micheal Skobac (Jews for Judaism).
This was my first introduction into Judaism. 2 weeks worth of learning and I gave up on Christianity.
I tore out the New Testament and burned it.
Subsequently I searched for other Rabbi’s and came across Rabbi Yosef Mizrachi. Initially I thought he was too arrogant. I was so wrong. Such a humble and loving tzaddik. His shiurim got me hooked to Torah even more til this day. I also started supporting his cause a few months later.
A short while after I was introduced to Rabbi Yaron Reuven. Another powerful speaker who teaches yirat shamayim. It’s been a real pleasure to see him and his organization grow so rapidly over the years.
I hope to see him even more successful in the future.
Also have to give credit to other Rabbeim who posted their shuirim. Each of which had their place in my Teshuva.
Rabbi Immanuel Schochet ZT’L.
Rabbi Tovia Singer.
Rabbi David Gottlieb (Jerusalem)
Rabbi Yermiyahu Ulman
B”H, Thank you Hashem for looking out for me and helping get to where I am now.
Two years ago I was doing a grout removal job in my house with the wrong personal protective equipment that resulted in me inhaling a substantial amount of crystalline silica for a long period of time. This is a chemical known to progressively destroy the lungs. A foolish mistake for sure. I've never had any chest problems before. A year after this accident I began having symptoms; chest pain and frightening shortness of breath that landed me in the ER. My chest pain and shortness of breath went on for about 6 months. I thought this was "it" and that it was never going to improve. Faced with what I thought could be the beginning of my end I began to see how much time I've wasted in my life and how much time I've spent on nonsense and misplaced priorities. Naturally, as mortality can make you do, I quickly shifted my thoughts to the eternal reality. Yom Kippur was approaching and I became aware like never before the importance of it and how it applies to non-Jews, such as myself. I felt like I had a real opportunity to connect with my Creator and discuss the invoices Ive needed to settle and to make my best efforts. I realised the seriousness of my time here on earth and gave extra tzedakah during the Be'ezrat Hashem Yom Kippur campaign and crying to Hashem for a blessing. After tests were performed a pulmonologist couldn't give me an explanation of my symptoms but said there was no indication of the poisonous inhalation I was describing. Neither were my symptoms typical for it. After many tears and prayers they were finally heard, my chest pain left me and my breathing returned to normal. My symptoms are now completely gone. I now feel that every breath is a blessing that I've always taken for granted. My prayer and Torah have improved and I enjoy an even greater connection with the Creator as a result. I would never ask to experience such horror again but in the end I realize it was good and I have Hashem to thank.
Jonas From Texas
Toda Rabbi. I was half half on the right road.. But we all know with one leg on the right road and one off the derech..... Means.. Off the derech... Until I saw your movie "Hashem took back.. " I had Torah.... I had Tanakh... I was starting... Put kept falling down every time.... And thinking I was a helpless victim..... But it was your video that taught me Teshuva. Never even knew it even existed. Why? Because the "salvation " way of my idol worship christian view was, even after completely cutting ties, still imprinted in my way of thinking. Your movie was my last push. The last cut. And I was finally free and understand what my purpose was. Baruch Hashem for bringing you into our lives to teach us Torah. My whole life, since I was very young... I didn't understand why I felt that I was misplaced, misunderstood, everyone was getting ahead in life... It felt like disaster followed me everywhere. And then... This Ray of Truth, just bursted of my screen. I think I went through every emotions while watching that movie. With the final one being at peace and alive again. I knew I had a goal and a job to do. Toda toda. For all the neshamot you reach. May He bless you and your loved ones! Shavua Tov
Via YouTube - HaShem SAVED ME FROM SUICIDE (A BeEzrat HaShem inc Film)
I thought I knew everything but I was in for a rude awakening...
I went to a Jewish school. I listened to shiurim. I loved Hashem but I did not progress beyond being a "cardiac jew". Hashem was in my heart but not in my actions. The lessons I learned from many of our modern religious leaders were very comforting but they did not make me change my ways.
As my journey through life unfolded, I was successful in my undertakings. I was popular and super confident. I had a silver tongue. I could charm any woman. I could sweet talk my way into any job. I could sell ice to an Eskimo. Life was amazing.
I always had the inclination to become religious. However, I couldn't reconcile what I had learned from many of my modern religious educators with reality. I was inculcated with a concept of God that was self-refuting.
I had a lot of questions. If God is good, then why is there so much suffering in the world? Why childhood cancer? Where was God during the Holocaust?
If God is all-powerful, why is He powerless to stop the anti-semites, disease or disabilities?
How do we know that the Torah is true? Maybe the documentary hypothesis explains the authorship of the Torah. After all, this is what most Jews in the Reform Movement believe.
At one point, I descended into atheism. This was short-lived because I could not accept the notion that the entire universe could have spontaneously created itself out of nothing. I knew there had to be a Creator.
I never progressed religiously because I had too many stumbling blocks. The concept of God that was taught to me seemed too irrational to be true. So I guess you could say that I effectively lived as an agnostic. Even though I wanted to be more observant, I was drifting further and further away from Judaism.
Then disaster struck. I was afflicted with a chronic form of social anxiety. It was very strange. All my life, I was a happy, confident and resilient person. Even though I had bouts of depression or anxiety at various points in my life, I could always overcome it. This time, I just couldn't shake it off.
My life started to fall apart. I couldn't do sales presentations anymore. I couldn't function in meetings. I lost my job. I couldn't interview for a new one. I lost my friends. My marriage was on the rocks. I had legal problems. Every business I touched failed. I became impoverished.
I am not a Navi, so I might be wrong about this, but when I look back, I feel that Hashem was punishing me measure for measure.
The silver tongue that I once used to seduce forbidden women, hurt and embarrass people, lie to customers, lie to job interviewers, talk lashon hara, cause quarrels, disrespect my parents etc. now became a chronic source of pain and embarrassment for me. I feel like Hashem turned my biggest asset into a whip against me.
I struggled against this for over 5 years. Then I gave up. I could see nothing was working. I decided to take some time out to do some soul searching.
I took a menial job dropping off advertising flyers in mailboxes. It was very humbling. I was once a corporate star, now I was a lowly flyer delivery boy. It was a depressing low point in my life.
Little did I know, this low point was soon to become one of the most glorious periods of my life.
I was paid peanuts to walk 10 hours a day, delivering flyers in the Australian summer heat. Some days were over 45 Degrees Celcius (113 Degrees Fahrenheit).
I was walking through rough Muslim neighbourhoods, notorious for Middle Eastern organised crime gangs. I was sunburnt and dripping with sweat. My feet were swollen and blistered. It should have been hell on Earth but these were some of the best days of my life.
These were the days where, after a lifetime of searching, I finally found Hashem.
As I walked, I decided to study the Tanakh cover to cover. I went through it slowly and carefully with a Nach Yomi program that explained every pasuk in accordance with traditional Jewish commentaries.
WOW! I was blown away. That's when EVERYTHING changed.
Every pasuk was delicious, sweeter than honey. This is what I had been missing all my life. I started to discover intellectually satisfying answers to all my questions.
One by one, all my stumbling blocks started to vanish. God finally started to make sense. Life started to make sense. My suffering started to make sense. The world started to make sense. It was beautiful.
Why suffering? Why the holocaust? What's the purpose of life? All the answers were there. It completely transformed the way I viewed the world.
The more I studied, the more the idea that the documentary hypothesis could account for the authorship of the Torah seemed like an absurdity.
Surprisingly, I also discovered that the Torah of the Nevi'im was quite different to the Torah I had been taught, by many of my modern orthodox educators, for most of my life.
I finally understood that God makes certain demands of me and I wasn't living up to them. They are not optional. It was time to do teshuva.
I examined my ways. I was brutally honest with myself. When I held my life up to the standard required of me by the Tanakh, I came up lacking. I could see that, for most of my life, I conducted myself like a disgusting human being. I was ashamed. I had a lot of sins. It was time to change my ways.
I didn't transform overnight. Even now, my teshuva is still a work in progress. I have over 40 years of sins and bad middot to fix. Some of these are so ingrained in me, I will probably have to battle against them for the rest of my life.
I started by fixing my moral conduct. I cleaned up my act in business. I was meticulous about not stealing, not deceiving people and being honest. I started to keep Shabbat. I improved my level of Kashrut.
After 5 years of struggling, almost immediately after I began my teshuva journey, my fortunes started to change.
Hashem blessed me with a good business opportunity that was enough to keep my family comfortable. When that came to an end, He had a safety net for me and brought other opportunities into my life. He blessed me with another child. My marriage started to improve. My social anxiety started to go away.
Now, I don't claim to be a Tzaddik. I don't think Hashem changed my fortunes because of my righteousness. I still had I lot of teshuva to do. I still do now.
I am not a Navi, I don't know the mind of Hashem, but I feel that my fortunes changed because of Hashem's great mercy and infinite kindness. If you are genuine about doing teshuva, Hashem helps you. Even though I am far from perfect, Hashem had compassion on me.
I can see now that Hashem didn't afflict me out of malice. He was rebuking me for my own good. When I got the message, He turned down the heat. It made me a better person. When I look back, I can see that His rebuke, even though it was painful, was an act of kindness. I am thankful for it.
As my relationship with Hashem blossomed, I no longer need a "reward" to feel motivated to do teshuva. Keeping Hashem's mitzvot and working on myself makes me feel close to Hashem, that's all the "reward" that I need. I now have the one thing I searched for all my life - a meaningful relationship with Hashem. It has enriched my life beyond measure.
Hashem still chastises me from time to time, but I know to embrace it now. Now, I get the message.
I learned more Torah and did more teshuva. I starting reading works like Shaarei Teshuva, Mishneh Torah and the Shulchan Aruch.
Rabbis on YouTube like Rabbi Mizrachi and Rabbi Reuven inspired me (through tough rebuke) to take my teshuva to the next level.
I am now guarding my Brit and guarding my eyes. I am keeping Shabbat and Yom Tov. My wife and I observe the laws of Niddah, I try to guard my tongue against speaking lies and lashon hara. I try not to hurt people with my words. I have improved the way I honour my parents. I am meticulous about not cheating in business. I put on tefillin and go to shule regularly. I am trying my best to do more acts of Chesed and to give more Tzedakah and so on and so on.
I still have a long way to go. I still make mistakes. I stumble but I get back up and try harder.
A lot of our religious leaders today are afraid to rebuke us. They think it will turn us away from Judaism. They give us a very comforting theological message and try to "inspire" us to become more observant. They think they need to be a Rabbinical version of Tony Robbins. This is not what our generation needs.
Our generation does not have a problem with too little "self-esteem". If anything, our generation has a problem with too much "self-esteem". Many of us are filled with arrogance and pride and lead self-centered lives. The most ignorant among us think they know better than our Sages of blessed memory.
Our generation needs more Jeremiahs, Ezekiels and Isaiahs and less "feel good" Judaism. We need to be told the cold hard truth. Even if it hurts. We need to be shocked out of our inertia. We need to be put in our place. We need a reality check.
If someone gave me the cold hard truth when I was younger, I could have changed my ways sooner. Being rebuked by a human would have been less painful than the rebuke I got from Hashem. Perhaps someone could have spared me 5 years of suffering.
Hashem taught me that He is real and His Torah is true, the hard way. I went against Hashem and His Torah and lived my life like a Rasha, so he starting bringing all the curses of Vayikra 26 and Devarim 28 upon me. Then when I started to do teshuva, he started to lift the curses and bring His bracha back into my life.
"Feel good" Judaism is not working. "God loves everyone, even the biggest Rasha" Judaism is not working.
Jewish education has failed. We need to do better for the sake of our children. We need to improve it.
Intermarriage and assimilation are through the roof.
Our kids leave school not even understanding the unique significance of Judaism's national revelation claim.
Our kids are taught that Hashem loves you unconditionally, even if you sin. It is not true. There are deeds that you can do, that are such an abomination, it can make Hashem hate you. Hashem hates evil. A good God is not only a God that is kind and merciful, a good God is also One that hates evil.
The Jewish people need to know that there are acts that are so disgusting they deserve to be punished with illness, poverty, famine, the death penalty, kares or eternal gehinnom. Keeping the Torah is not optional. Sugarcoating this message does not do us any favours. It does not improve us as a nation.
It's not uncommon for kids to leave school and not even know the Ten Commandments or the basics of ethical monotheism. Our kids leave school Biblically illiterate. The Christians know more about our Tanakh than us. It's dangerous and embarrassing.
Jewish education has lost its sense of perspective. Many of our educators are pre-occupied with teaching Jewish customs, Hebrew, Jewish culture and ethnicity. Teaching Jewish ethical monotheism becomes an afterthought.
If you read the Tanakh, Hashem did not punish us with Assyria and Babylon because we didn't eat enough cheesecake on Shavuot. He punished us because we became immoral.
What does Hashem care about most? That we turn away from evil and do good. Don't cheat in business. Don't have affairs. Guard your eyes. Don't defraud. Be holy. Don't waste seed. Don't lie. Don't speak lashon hara. Honour your parents. Pay workers on time. Don't lend on interest. Keep Shabbat. Eat kosher. Comfort the mourner. Heal and care for the sick. Do kindness and give charity. Treat the poor and unfortunate with compassion. Don't snub your fellow Jew because he doesn't drive the right car, wear designer clothes or live in a mansion.
If you neglect these things, eating pomegranates on Rosh Hashana is not going to be enough to save you. We need to DO the mitzvot, not just symbolise them.
My advice to anyone reading this is, do teshuva now. Don't waste half your life, as I did. Don't wait until Hashem brings all the curses of the Torah upon you. Don't repeat my mistakes.
I am not a prophet, but if there is suffering in your life or if you feel like Hashem is not there when you daven, it is probably is reasonable to conclude that it's a signal that you need to examine your ways, confess your wrongdoing and turn away from evil and do good. Be brutally honest with yourself.
If we want Moshiach to come, it is not enough to sing "We want Moshiach now" at the top of our lungs. We need to bring Moshiach with our deeds. Study Torah, do chesed, give tzedakah, turn away from evil, pursue justice, keep the mitzvot, work on your middot. Make Hashem's world a better place. Be a light to the nations. Then, please God, we will merit to see Moshiach in our lifetime.
There isn't enough time in this world to truly say Thank You to Rabbi Yaron Reuven for his selfless acts of giving his life to save those gone astray! I'm so blessed to have Rabbi Yaron Reuven as my guide, as my Rav and as a source of all that is EMET! Thank you HaRav for ALL you do in ALL ways!!! With much love and respect Leah! May Hashem continue to bless you and ALL who support your efforts!!!
To all of my fellow brothers and sisters,
I'm so glad that you are here (aka connected in some way to R' Yaron Reuven) and I hope you have already merited or will very soon merit understanding the truth of this world and of your existence. If you just open your ears, your minds and your hearts to the appropriate teachings of the Torah it will transform your life in the most beneficial ways possible and in ways that are beyond your imagination.
To me personally, I feel like I have finally found what I didn't realize I was looking for. Because until a short time ago my physical desires were on one path, my conscious mind on another, and my soul was on a journey of it's own. Now, I strive to live each and every single day with an utmost purpose with my entire being progressing on the same path which will Beezrat HaShem take me directly to the place my soul is yearning for.
My story is a bit different than many other Baalei Teshuva because I grew up as a religious Jew in an Orthodox Jewish community. As the Rav often says, religious Jews must become Baalei Teshuva too. I'm a young woman in my twenties who went through the typical religious school system and I always thought that I was living my life as a great Jew who did the Mitzvot and who basically knew right from wrong. Little did I know that in actuality I wasn't "living it". Mostly because my understanding of right and wrong was false since it wasn't GOD's determination of right and wrong. Meaning, I would come to my own conclusions based on my limited Torah knowledge and would rationalize and permit myself to see, hear, or associate with certain things, people, surroundings, etc. because I didn't think I would be negatively affected by it. Either because I didn't see anything wrong with it, which is backwards since who is little old me to make such decisions. Or because I felt like I was already a very righteous person, meaning that I compared myself to those around me and assumed that I kept the Mitzvot better than them based on my observations. Or because the one thing that I always did fear is Gehinnom and I thought that fear would be sufficient prevention against all sins. (See the Rav's Gehinnom shiur for an awakening of truth on this topic - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DxYGqSV-gIo.) The problem though was that, A - I did not and still do not know of all the sins and their severity and, B - just because I feared Gehinnom when I was reminded about it every now and then (for example in a Torah class or story), I had no idea how to or that I should in fact practically apply this fear to my daily thoughts and actions.
I'm not implying that one should be living in constant fear as that would most probably be very detrimental physically, emotionally and spiritually. However, we must live every day with meaning and purpose in accordance to HaShem's will and we should also keep the next world close by in our minds at all times as this will greatly affect every single one of our many daily choices which affect our future, our descendant's futures and will affect the many people who we will impact over our lives either for the good Beezrat HaShem or for the bad Chas V'shalom. These choices, thoughts and decisions to go after certain actions, desires and pleasures cannot be based off of what we want if it goes against what HaShem wants.
HaShem is the Master of the entire world. The One who is in control of EVERYTHING at every moment. The One who sees and hears everything - even our thoughts and true intentions! Just ponder on that for a second, or for an hour... He is there in ALL of our thoughts and thoughts are often considered even worse than actions to HaShem (for example when the thoughts are not modest). And He records everything to later give us reward and punishment. HaShem in His eternal greatness and glory is Whom we need to be serving every single second of the day. If you disagree, my friend, then I hope HaShem will grant you the correct understanding very soon because at some point it will be TOO LATE. Firstly because you can pass on to the next world at any given moment and also because once Mashiach is here you may not be worthy to survive without doing complete Teshuva.
So, back to my story about how I Baruch HaShem became a Baalas Teshuva. I would like to share a little about how I wasn't living a True Torah lifestyle despite looking it and unconsciously convincing myself of it. My main struggle was modesty related and in case you are unaware, HaShem considers a woman's modesty of utmost importance. I dressed modestly by covering my knees, elbows and collar bones but dressing modestly in itself doesn't make me a modest woman as you can see for yourself if you listen to many of the Rav's incredible shirium. To further explain, I generally kept Mitzvot and the Halachot to the best of my ability and I'm not just saying that as a way of speaking, I sincerely cared about my religious observance and was meticulous about it. As I mentioned before, many times I thought that I was better, religiously speaking, than my classmates, relatives and other Jews that I saw. I later learned in lectures by the Rav that very often the evil inclination specifically goes after such people (who think highly of themselves when comparing themselves to others) and causes them to fall and sin in his sneaky, tricky ways. His tactics attack us at unexpected angles and we fall for them. And FYI, he visits you too. He comes to all of us.
Anyways, after suffering through a few months at a low spiritual level, which stemmed from immodest thoughts and intentions over the years, I Baruch HaShem came to the realization that I must change things in my life immediately. The reason being because there was no way that I was living appropriately in the spiritual sense which was always something that meant a lot to me. However, for about 8 months after that point, I was on a growth quest in both spiritual and other areas. Via books, lectures and courses, I looked into a variety of topics such as human psychology, emotional health, self-motivation and the dynamics of interpersonal relationships. As well as how to live with more mindfulness and meaning to live an accomplished life. During that time I learned a lot of Mussar too to perfect my character traits (which is one of the main reasons why we are here on Earth) and to improve my overall mindset on Judaism and life.
At one point in the earlier stages, I contacted a Rabbi to advise me in my Teshuva process. Even though he is a highly esteemed Rabbi, he did not explain to me the severity of certain sins that I was involved in, specifically one of the worst sins out there which is causing others to sin. I honestly was not aware of the magnitude of my inappropriate actions that potentially caused men to sin by looking and/or thinking of me. Nor did he direct me in the complete Teshuva path. He told me the basic Teshuva steps and that was it. I'm so thankful that months later, Beezrat HaShem, HaShem guided me to some great Rabbis (such as R' Reuven, R' Mizrahi, R' Anava and R' Zitron) who opened my eyes and mind to understand important Torah teachings in a new light and that there was more to be done in my Teshuva process. Especially because as an atonement for causing others to sin; I now should attempt to bring people back to the Torah and to help others to stop doing the same or similar sins. Baruch HaShem after listening to hours and hours of Torah classes, I gained an incredible perspective of the True Torah and I now know that the meaning of living a purposeful life is to ALWAYS connect to HaShem. I also learned a lot about modesty and I've grown so much Baruch HaShem in this area. In my way of dress, in guarding my eyes and my thoughts, and in being conscious of how men might perceive me, a woman. I now aspire to live the rest of my life Beezrat HaShem as a genuine Jew who lives according to the right and wrong of HaShem and who is always growing spiritually.
The bottom line is that we must try our best to live the Torah way. To learn and understand the truth, to be aware of our sins, to repent, and to constantly perfect ourselves going forward. Yes we all sin, but in no way should this prevent us from devoting our lives to connecting to our Creator and living according to His will. Don't procrastinate the necessary changes that you can do right now. Just start and HaShem will help you. No matter where you are holding in your life, you can always do Teshuva and He is always waiting for you. Return to Him and you will gain eternal reward and of course, much blessing in this world too. You will also live a fulfilling and meaningful life if you follow the Torah, which in essence is what we all yearn for (whether we are aware of this or not).
The next step of the journey is to bring more and more people to the true Torah, which can be so easily done by sharing links to Torah lectures. As the Rav says, bring a person to the Torah but don't bring the Torah to him (to whatever level he is at). Because we can't make it work for us or do things only when we feel like it. It is our responsibility to spread the truth no matter what our listeners might choose to do with this information. HaShem wrote the Torah and it is our job to keep it in it's entirety since the purpose of the world is for the Torah.
Another extremely important thing to keep in mind is that you are not off the hook once you do Teshuva. Teshuva must be done as often as possible because we are still sinning. As the sages say in Pirkei Avot (Chapter 2, 15) ... R' Eliezer says... Vishuv Yom Echad Lifnei Meesuscha - "repent one day before your death". His disciples asked, "but does one know the day of his death?" and R' Eliezer explained to repent EACH day lest you die tomorrow. Teshuva should be frequently done throughout our entire lives.
P.S. After being inspired by the Beezrat HaShem Teshuva stories and seeing how some have noticed personal health improvements, I want to share that in my humble opinion, I was also blessed in this area. I suffered from chronic headaches for about 6 years which obviously affected my day to day life. The medications that I did try during the earlier years, unfortunately, gave me many temporary side effects and did get rid of the problem. As a result of that (but also due to a lack of desire to go that route), I chose to tolerate the pain without the meds and doctors. These daily headaches are mostly gone by now Baruch HaShem which I think may have have to do with the fact that my mindset is now more aligned with the Torah and because I'm actively becoming more and more modest.
I would like to end by thanking the Rav so much for teaching us the crucial truth and Mussar to live our lives as authentic Jews and for all that he does for Klal Yisroel both behind the scenes and not.
May HaShem bless all of you readers with much success in following His ways and in spreading His Torah.
From the depths of my heart, THANK YOU HASHEM for showing me the truth.
I support my husband in kollel. It’s a challenging life and I use to get very upset. One day I cried to HaShem to help me. Suddenly, I clicked on a YouTube at work (hate internet and was afraid to see what showed up) so I typed in Torah and saw your Bitachon Shiur – loved it! Now I thank HaShem every day. All your shiurim and organization efforts are out of the world!! Amazing Baruch.
Thank you for making me understand my life and all the good HaShem is giving to us.
Thank you very much.
Via Handwritten Letter
Bechem Hachem Naassé Venatsliah
Hello Rabbi Reuven, I'm sorry to take 5mn of ur time but I had to send you this little message. I'm sure you'll understand. Everything happens for a reason. My name is Rebecca Teboul, I'm founder and CEO of a French non profit Jewish organization called Tov ALLIANCE since 28 years, here in Paris). It happens that yesterday HM made me watch ur amazing story on YouTube. I still can't believe what I saw.. Mind blowing.. 👏👏👏 tears were rolling on my face and it's not a hasard if HM made me watch it. I'm still in awe. What a beautiful message he sent me yesterday.. Like I always say... HM cannot speak to us directly but He will use all means to do it. With all due respect we have a lot, a lot in common... .I too lost everything 35 yrs ago... I'm a Baal techouva since 30 years and since then, living miracles after miracles every day b''h. .shared my story with thousands, blessed by the biggest tsadikim of our generation.. Had lots of nissayon and hurdles.. too long to explain.. But baroukh Hashem, I feel so blessed and grateful to HM. HM gave me the huge merit to create my wonderful organization in 1992 Kirouv, Chiddoukhim.. more than 600 couples happily married, helping the needy, writing my articles, teaching..... I'm still in awe how Hachem rules his world and guides each and every one of us in the path he wants us to go.. .. How I found ur video!? Just Amazing!! Since yesterday I'm calling lots of friends in Canada, France and Israel to see the video. They absolutely have to see it!! Everything happens for a reason.. HM wanted me to see it for a reason.. I just wanted to say to you, Rabbi Reuven ur a tsadik.. hazak ou baroukh to you for sharing ur wonderful story with the world. What an inspiration! I love the way u express yourself with simple words that touches the heart and soul. Kol hakavod to you. May Hachem's light shine on you always. Arbé behatslaha in good health. With ur permission I would love to share ur story and video '' HM took his millions '' on my website.. All the best from Paris, chabbat chalom oumevorah
Rabbi Yaron Shalom u'Vracha! After viewing the various video clips about the "Kosher Wigs" that you so graciously put out there...I felt compelled to no longer deceive myself!
Erev Pesach I burned (with much joy) my 2 gorgeous wigs without hesitation along with the chametz! I always say the truth will liberate you! Thank you & the messenger who selflessly went to India to get to the deep truth! Its undeniable that the wigs are totally AVODAH ZARA! Any "dust" of it is unacceptable...but the video clips CLEARLY show that millions if not already a billion people donating their hair for idolatry! I didn't want any part of it! I wanted to start Pesach with a clear slate! BH I hope HASHEM accepts my TESHUVA completely too!
THANK YOU AGAIN RABBI YARON REUVEN AND MAY HASHEM CONTINUE TO BLESS YOUR EFFORTS TO BRING BACK OUR BROTHERS & SISTERS!✡️💟
My story is long so I’ll make it as short as possible, I grew up in a fairly shomer Shabbat home and kosher home, the only problem was that it was more forced down our throats and was a drag rather than given with love and understanding and simcha, I went to a yeshiva as a kid and kept things not knowing why, I was bullied for years and harmed myself as a young girl all of my problems began from there, not having self respect or self love and wondering how Hashem can do this to me, fast forward high school I was kicked out for reasons I still don’t understand (which now I see was a bracha) but I blamed the religious Jews because I believed all they cared about was money which I didn’t grow up with, so I knew letting me go was nothing since I couldn’t afford most of the tuition anyway - so I despised most religious people I then went to a school for kiruv and fell off completely, I dated a non Jewish person for 2 years almost 3, I hung out with the wrong crowd, I was sexually harassed in a home with 2 boys I had to fight off for hours , Barcuh Hashem I got out of it but I shouldn’t of been in that situation to begin with which I later on understood, keeping Shabbat was the last thing on my mind. I wore pants I did it all without even thinking.
Eventually Hashem tried to save me and my family found out about my non Jewish relationship , even though I knew it was wrong, for some reason them saying it helped me wake up and I realized I’d never be able to introduce him to my family and if I don’t change and marry this person, my family will have to sit shiva for me, and the thought of it broke my heart, so eventually I started to change slowly, deciding to let go of the relationship and started with my journey back to religion which was the hardest and most painful thing I had to do, letting go of a life I cherished and enjoyed but instead I received a beautiful life that’s full filling better then I believed I deserved - I did cried every night for strength to move forward and Hashem was next to me the entire time holding my hand through the journey , it’s been almost 10 years , Hashem answered all of my tefilot that I davened those nights with tears and pain of regret. I married and have a religious home that does mitzvot with love and happiness. I still have so many different difficult obstacles, but with Hashem I know I can and will get through it because my father is the king of the world.
After getting married and being religious, I knew that being religious meant to always improve yourself and I stumbled upon Rav Reuven on Facebook and have been listening ever since, I’ve burned my wig, improved the way I think, fight for the truth and spread the truth and continue to try and bring others closer to Hashem.
Hi rabbi I wanted to share something with you I know that I have so much hashgacha pratit that yesterday after I donated to you I was literally saved as they say צדקה תציל מי מוות
I took the psyllium husk flakes yesterday for the first time and apparently I’m allergic to it at 7 pm my air ways closed up and couldn’t breath my husband called Hatzaloh and they gave me the shot for the reaction I believe that if I didn’t donate I would’ve died.
That’s one story second story:
Also back in July I received a WhatsApp message to donate and i did , after I did literally 20 min after I had a car accident and my daughter and I got saved. Someone ran a stop sign and even the Hatzolah guys here said you and your daughter seriously got saved without a scratch and Hashem loves you . My car got totaled.
I am 37 years old, born as Christian, later moved to Messianic. As a kid, my parents raised us religious. My mother always used to ask us to read Psalms.
As I was growing older, I was sailing in two boats, I pretended to be religious and also committing sin by wasting seed almost every day.
As I entered into graduation, we got computers and the level of sin was just getting higher, was spending too much time on pornography.
Then I got a job, and got mobile phone and it was very easy now to watch porn and I was staying away from my parents due to my work. I was feeding porn every single day and was wasting seed every single day.
Sometimes I wanted to go back to spiritual, it was 2010 I heard Rabbi Tovia Singer’s lectures and immediately accepted that God is one, and it's not Jesus. But my sins didn't stop.
I lost my job, became bankrupt. Parents didn't know about it, I became lazy as well. But I had the potential to grab a job. I took loan with a confidence that I can get job soon, but that didn't happen, instead I ran out of the loan amount as well. Parents got to know the matter, I asked Rabbi Tovia Singer to give me some money as I hardly knew anyone to ask. Rabbi said, I don't have money but I can pray for your job. It was a miracle I got a job within a month
But I was not thankful to Hashem, I was still committing sin by wasting seed. Then sleep paralysis started.... I didn't know the term too that it's called as sleep paralysis until few weeks ago.
I was searching in internet with my experiences but couldn't really find an answer... and whenever soul comes on my body, I always used to ask " who are you"... there was no answer.
One day randomly I was listening to Rabbi Yosef Mizrachi’s video on Facebook and later somehow Rabbi Yaron Reuven’s video showed up on Wasting seed. I watched that video... it was a year ago. Baruch Hashem I didn't commit that sin again from that day. I immediately pinged Rabbi about my sleep paralysis, he said it would take time and be strong... When I decided to change, sleep paralysis happened to me every day for a week. Now that doesn't happen to me anymore. I became stronger, started reading Tehillim, Torah... I am still doing Teshuva..
I just pray to Hashem always that I am just dust and ashes, Universe is Yours, please don't cast me away...
Moved to a big city from another state 15 years ago and was working 7 days a week, and the only thing on my mind was $$$. Similar to the business Rav Reuven was in.
Every Saturday when I was driving to work, I used to see families going to shul and when I was coming from work the same, seeing then coming back from the shul.
Week after week seeing this, it kinda started making me to think about it and I told myself, one day I will do that as well.
Once I was making an appointment with one of my clients, and he mentioned to me that he can only come on Saturday, because Sunday is the day he spends with his God, and at the moment I didn’t pay attention to what he said, but right after I hang up, it hit me, that a non-Jew spends his time with his God and me someone who shouldn't even be at work, will have to do it. So I called him back and told him that, I can’t make it this Saturday, since I had another app and can only do it on Monday.
Since then I slowly started going to the shul, and now, years after, I have a family, thanks to Hashem, and keep Shabbat and going to the synagogue every day, to my synagogue that I opened with Hashem’s help.
Also, a friend had the same issue that Rav Reuven had, hemorrhoids, and was out for months from work, I handed him the CD with the Wall Street story. a week after he decided to keep Shabbat, and now a person who couldn’t get married for over 40 years, got married and keeps Shabbat for a year, thanks to your life story, his life changed, completely.
My name is Yitzchak, I was born and raised here in New Jersey*(name and place are changed). Unlike many people in these pages, my story starts as a frum Jew. I grew up in a religious home where Torah was valued to the highest degree. My father was well respected in the community. He taught hundreds of kids and was a source of support for anyone with any sort of issue. Very often he raised money on his own for those in need, gave a listening ear and dropped off gifts secretly by their doors. My mother as well supported him. She herself does a lot chessed. She has a talent for sewing and very often can be found sitting for hours mending clothing for free. As a kid, modest clothing wasn’t available in the area she lived and she had learned how to sew by making her own modest clothing.
Raised with such parents, some would think that there couldn’t possibly be a need to improve. That’s a big mistake and Hashem made it very clear to me that something I was doing was wrong. I needed to improve.
I was always considered a good kid. I was attentive in class, I paid attention and got average grades. I also valued Torah as my parents did. Throughout my childhood I always loved movement. I loved to play ball, skate, bike, canoe etc. Going to school was a time to learn, grow and then go out to play ball. Many Sundays were spent playing baseball. Sometimes I played roller hockey or Ice Hockey. I was a member at the skatepark. Throughout this time I also learned and always tried to be polite and sensitive to people. Every now and then I had an oversensitive moment and I got angry at something or misinterpreted something. For the most part though I did what was right. This went on for a number of years. I felt comfortable with the way I was living and figured I’m a pretty good guy. I have my head in the right place, I’m growing, what could I be doing wrong.
As time went on I started developing health problems. In ninth grade my stomach started bothering me. I started making frequent visits to the restroom. Some more time passed I started bleeding while I used the restroom. More time passed and I started needing the restroom more frequently. It got to a point where I started needing the restroom on a constant basis. Every few minutes I needed to run. Since I was bleeding each time I went, my strength started to go. The loss of blood caused me to get very tired. All the while I didn’t know that I had any illness, this went on for about a year and half. For some reason I never thought to go to a Doctor. At some point, I started falling asleep during class and not being able to focus. One day I just stayed home from school and stayed in bed. My mother decided to talk to someone about this and she was told to take me straight to the emergency room. I spent about two and half weeks there getting tests and x-rays done. They soon discovered that I had Crohns, a genetic disease that effects the bowels. Part of the digestive tract gets sore by the food you eat and if you’re not careful you could end up requiring surgery. Thank G-d I didn’t need surgery, but regardless I had to watch what I ate. The Doctor put me on a liquid diet, which basically meant I wasn’t allowed to eat for several days. Eventually they reintroduced me to bland diet in which I had to eat foods that wouldn’t affect my stomach. Over my stay at the hospital I also developed cediphasil, which is another form of stomach illness. I lost a lot of the little weight that I had to begin with and then was released from the hospital. From then on I bounced from Doctor to Doctor with my mother, trying to figure a suitable health plan that didn’t involve a lack of food and living out of an outpatient clinic. This went on for about two years, here and there I had many ups and downs with my health. I started to get used to living this way. It was a drop frustrating but not too bad.
I was still interested in growing all this time and started investing more energy into my growth. I wasn’t necessarily adding hours to my learning but I was shaping my attitude to serving Hashem.
After Highschool I went out of town to Yeshiva to learn. I was very driven to grow and succeed in learning. The schedule was very demanding, its about a fourteen-hour day, with meals, breaks and prayer in between. I tried my best to make it all the way through each day and sometimes staying a few extra minutes. I starting being very focused on goals of growing, often getting frustrated if I didn’t grow enough. My patience for others started going down a drop while I felt like I was going up. I didn’t realize at the time, but my service of Hashem wasn’t exactly service of Hashem. I was serving myself. I was making myself great, not Hashem. Perhaps I would even appreciate a solid compliment about my studiousness, or my level of learning. In the religious world its called the Frum Yetzer Hara (the religious evil inclination). Many people have no concept of this, but its really the same Yetzer Hara that causes a person to lie cheat and steal. You are serving yourself, not Hashem. You are serving your ego.
My desire to grow (make myself great) pushed me to move back to New Jersey after Passover and learn as best as I could there. I learned and tried as best as I could to focus. After a few months of learning, my Yeshiva took us to Israel to learn and be inspired. Throughout our stay we visited great Talmidei Chachamim (Wise and righteous people). After the Yeshiva trip came to an end, I stayed in Israel for a little while longer with my brother and some friends. We intended to enjoy ourselves, which we did. We went on a few trips and had some fun. For one of our trips we decided to hike from Teveria to Tzfas. We walked around a little and then found a hostile owned by an old couple and we stayed there for the night. The next day we woke up early, davened and set out towards our trail which would take us towards Tzfas. We hiked for hours in the hot sun, mountains and trees surrounded us. There was no civilization around us. After a while of hiking, some of the guys got tired and decided to hitch to Tzfas. I and another friend decided to continue by ourselves. We didn’t realize at the time, but the trail got harder, the markers were further apart and we got lost. And we kept on getting lost. By the time Tzfas was in sight it was almost dark. Baruch Hashem we made it to Tzfas, had a good time and were a drop tired out. That’s when the trouble began.
Maybe it’s because I didn’t drink enough, regardless Hashem stepped in. My stomach started bothering me. And this time it didn’t let up. I was always on the run to the restroom. My flight home was shortly after and my stomach continued to bother me. I developed a hemorrhoid, and my continuous bowel movements caused it to burst. My stomach was bothering me constantly and I was bleeding constantly. At some point I stopped eating. There wasn’t really much opportunity for me to think about anything. I was in discomfort and had run to the bathroom constantly. I also stopped drinking and I wasn’t able to fall asleep. The human mind can only handle so much and my actions showed it. I started saying odd things and doing odd things. I don’t really have a particular order of how things played out because I don’t really remember. I tried buying cars from random people. I walked to different people’s houses and started talking about different things. There came a point somewhere between Rosh Hashana and Chanuka where I started playing around in my mother’s house. I accidently broke a few things, some by accident and some not so. My mother couldn’t handle it and called some people. Meanwhile I was making believe I was a karate guy and scaring the daylights out of my mother. I told someone I wanted a neighbor across the street to come and he did. I punched him in the stomach. Then Shomrim came and I started jumping around scaring them. Four of them surrounded me and took me down. Meanwhile I was making all sorts of comments. Then the police came and put me in handcuffs and took me to the mental hospital. Things got worse. I couldn’t sit still for more then a few minutes at a time. There were all sorts of strange people there. When they had group therapy I couldn’t really focus and I interrupted every time (I think). At some point when the staff wasn’t looking I got up and walked through the double doors out of the hospital and walked for about four hours all the way to the Yeshiva near my house. I had escaped. The police were waiting for me there and brought me back to the hospital. This time they had twenty four hour security by my door.
Throughout my stay at the hospital many people visited me including my parents, siblings, friends, teachers and members of the community. I had gone from being good and with it, to a Chesed case. Someone who needs help. I had always been considered normal, well behaved and well liked. It was all taken away. While in the hospital several days of my life were missing from my memory. Eventually I was released and from then on it was back and forth to a psychiatrist and neurotherapy sessions. This went on for over a year. I had been diagnosed with bipolar disease with psychosis. My caring mother despite all odds and severe warnings from the psychiatrist started lowering the doses for the medicine I was getting. She figured that if I regress, at least I had fair shot at coming out normal as opposed to having to take these drugs my whole life. She was getting advised by the alternative medicine Doctor who was giving me therapy. A while later I was off all medication for bipolar and started putting my life together again. My life was changed.
Throughout this upheaval in my life I got many apologetic stares, had many conversations. I was being helped by many people, it was very uncomfortable. I had little control of my life. I was being led by a force that was way beyond me. My intensity slowly melted away, I started introducing Faith and Trust in G-d into my life. Although I was raised religious, did everything religious people do and even spent time learning, I hadn’t been serving G-d until now. I was forced to constantly think rationally otherwise I could fall back into my previous state of being. I was forced to realize that no aspect of my life is solid or unbreakable. My body is fragile, my mind is fragile and at any point in time Hashem can take everything away. Later on I got married and our financial situation has been consistently fragile. I consistently have to rely on Hashem for physical health, mental health and monetary health. Once Hashem is part of your life you become much more calm and collected. My younger brother notified me that he saw a big difference in the way I was before the health problems and after.
Eventually I went back to New York and learned for a few years. While I was there I picked up Cd by Rabbi Mizrahi and got hooked the second I started listening. I remember saying out loud to myself this person talks Tachlis (to the point) every time. A short while later I picked up a Cd by Rabbi Reuven about his life story. It was gripping and to the point. I’ve been hooked ever since. I listened to one of his Shiurim(gehinom) on line with a Tanach in hand and started checking all the sources. Shortly thereafter I started sending him questions and Baruch Hashem got good answers. What else do you need. Take advantage of the truth being told straight and it will get you to the place you want. Consider this story a Baal Teshuva story because now my religion has G-d in it.
Yitzchak (New Jersey, USA)
I was born in Israel and my family came to the US in 1962. My parents were holocaust survivors. At the age of 22 I married a man named David, he too was born in Israel. He too had holocaust parents. David was adopted at the age of 6 from Hadassah Hospital in Jerusalem. He too came to the US in 1967. In 1989 we had twin girls, who are now 30, Baruch Hashem. In 1991 we had a son, who at the age of 4 months passed away from SIDS. Crib death. After he passed away, I wanted to go to Israel and find out why, why did Hashem take him away from us. A child who did no wrong to no one.
So I started to go to all the graves of the righteous people and pray that my son Adam will be in heaven and be ever resting in the Garden of Eden. I yelled, I cried, I shouted to the heavens above to heal me, to take away my pain. On our way home back to NY, I told David, I need to go one last time to the Kotel, to put my note again in the wall and plead to the heavens to look over our souls. On my way down the steps a beggar a man who looked hungry a religious man, begged me for money he took out his bill fold of pictures to show me all the pictures of his children. I handed some dollars and he said to me: Hashem, will bless you with twins. I shouted to him in pain, what do you mean, I am here screaming in my sorrow that I need healing and twins, twins, look up the steps my twins are in the carriage with their father. He said no, no, you will have more twins. And what do you know, 6 months later I was pregnant with twins. 2 boys who are now 26. So when all despair is gone, believe in Hashem. He counts the tears, he sees the pain, and answers.
How I came to your website was by chance. I work in a Synagogue and I am the administrator. I received a random email from your website and I started to read a story that you published. It made me feel that I needed to share with you my story. I am new to your website, and I continue to tell my children that Hashem is watching over us and never ever to lose faith. I will tell all I encounter how we need to learn and listen to others and never, never give up on Hashem.
Dear Rebbi Yaron,
Only wanted to let you know that your words and teaching reaches all corners of the earth.
I am not Jewish, but I have been listening to your CDS and teaching here in the United Kingdom, where I currently live. I started my journey to Judaism with your CDs.
Now I have reached out to an Orthodox Jewish community in Reading UK and I was telling my Rabbi Zvi about how much your teaching has helped me discover Judaism. Your care for people who want to convert to Judaism is exceptional.
My e-mail is to provide a word of appreciation for everything you do. I am convinced there are other people in the world whose life has been changed by your true kindness and love for HaShem.
Simona (United Kingdom)
My son was very very bad some time ago; he was like this since he was born 9 years ago. Cursing was an everyday thing, hitting us, throwing things, problems at school, and life in our home was Geinom really. We had to do something, but what? We prayed, I did pray to H`m to show me the correct path, what did I do wrong? I continue asking him that, once and again and couldn´t reach to an answer. Years passed and we suffer, more and more, doctors, appointments, more and more, medicines, more medicines that didn´t do anything to him or made him worse.
Until one day, last week, our son got an overdose of a medication. The weird thing is that the maximum dosage of that medication per kilogram is 1500 mg, he was only taking 500 mg/kg and he overdose with it. Who would have known that? He could have died!!!! I was called from school to pick him up and when I reach there he was crazy, under a table, half naked, crying but eyes closed (dozed like dopped), still with strength though. It was awful to see because the doctors have to give him an injection to be able to calm him down and get him in the ambulance to take him to the emergency room. When the medication was doing effect he was like a statue, like a crazy drugged person, not moving not even his eyes. I was just soooooo sad to see him like that, my little child. My heart was broken into pieces.
After many hours, the effect was getting off his system and he fought and groaned for everything, nurses told me it was a normal thing after the medicine they had given him.
After some time, my husband came and I could go home with my other 3 year old son.
He remained in the hospital. Next day I was with him all day, until he was normal again. When we got off the hospital and reached home by the afternoon my husband and I talked.
I felt so bad for all that had happened, I knew it was our fault. So I told my husband, I do not want to lose a child. Let´s do this, let´s keep the pact of Abraham Avinu, but both of us, you don't lose semen in vain, take care of your eyes and study Torah and I will be with you every single time you wanted me to with NO EXCUSES, of course you know that is hard for me because of the medicine I take I am never willing to be with you in that way.
It’s a deal, we hugged.
It was Friday, so we went to the synagogue while the kids stayed at home with a nanny. On Saturday, when they were reading the Torah, I realize the parasha was Ki tetze, I told my husband, NO WAY!!!!!!!!! In that parasha Moshe tells the people that when a man has emission of semen at night he has to go away of the campsite and then into a mikveh to get in again, because the campsite has to be holy. Also, it talks about the rebel son. Oh no, if this is not a message from H'm, WHAT IS?
From that day on, our son is a completely different kid. COMPLETELY DIFFERENT KID. It is like all the devil he had, went away. He almost doesn't curse at all, he used to call me prostitute all the time and damned, it hurt me so much. Also hit us and we couldn't even talk or have a conversation with him because it was like his capability for reasoning was completely gone. He put his hands in his ears and start singing.
Now, he gets angry, but it´s a different angry, he doesn't throw a plate to your face, he hits his fist against his leg or his foot against the floor saying "it is not fair", like a normal boy!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
He is more sweet, he apologizes easily, he is not so hyperactive. HE IS ANOTHER BOY! He is the boy that was inside trying to get out and we didn't let him, with so much tumá over him... poor little thing.
When a person thinks that when he wastes semen in vain it doesn't affect him or his family, all of that is NONSENSE!!! and I am telling you by experience. H'm showed us in the hard way because we lived with a "devil kid" for 9 years, going from one doctor to another, even going to another country to make a diagnose and loosing so much time of our lives fighting with him, crying over this crazy life of us. It was impossible to teach him anything, he was so oppositionist, cruel, but inside, sometimes he showed that little sweet boy. I knew it was somewhere inside, but what I didn't know was that what it didn´t let him get out was the jail WE PARENTS HAD BUILT around him because of our big sin. All those demons, were on him.
Now, they are dying, they are going away, as we are taking care of the Abraham pact and my husband is studying Torah. I am trying to do more mitzvot, or improve the ones I make.
I thank you H'm for showing me the way.
A week has passed and we have a sweet boy who behaves like a boy, medicine is doing what it is supposed to do, much more accessible, almost no cursing, apologizes! I cannot describe this. My husband still thinks is a phase. I know if we continue our part, H'm will take those demons and kill them so they are not going to bother our son again. I listened to your shiurim about this and it is just like you describe it.
I wanted to tell you.
Ruth (South America)
Rabbi Yaron Reuven, may Hashem bless his soul, connected me with Rabbi Zitron who connected me with Rabbi Kersh, who after a few private Torah lessons connected me with Ohr Someyach- Yeshiva in Jerusalem. I am happy to announce that I will be moving to Israel in the next 2-4 weeks to study there full time, and dedicate at least the next 6 months- 1 year to the full service of Hashem and study of his oral and written Torah. Rabbi Yaron Reuven also mailed me and my mother a kiruv package that contains Zamir Cohen’s Science is coming of Age book, which seemed like it was min hashamayim (from the Heavens) because I was looking to buy this book and read it again (I read it months ago, but needed to return it to my friend from whom I borrowed it in the first place).
Thank you Rabbi Reuven! It looks like it took a lot of effort to put this lecture together, may you be rewarded for this B'H. For me this is one of the most beneficial talks I have heard in my life. This is a subject that if mentioned people will laugh. They laugh if you say G-d exists, they laugh even harder if you say there is punishment. Like you say though, we should not care what people think but what Hashem thinks. After each talk that you give I find things in my life to change. To study more Torah. To fear and love Hashem more. To think of ways to help others and to honor parents more. I used to think each day of my life was a curse and was starting to convince myself there was no G-d. Now I find each day to be a blessing and am trying to live a life of gratitude. I plan to send you a donation in the next week or two when I am able. The work you are doing is helping change lives for the better.
Via YouTube - MUSSAR Pirkei Avot (84) GEHINOM
I remember when I first reached out to you, I told you that only you can save my life. Well my depression is gone I am happy and no longer dwelling on my past mistakes
As you advised I did not take the job at the restaurant working on Shabbat as you stated. You told me that Hashem will take care of me, true to those words and out of the blue without me searching.... an opportunity came across my way to move to Florida and work for Aramark in Health Care running the food and beverage operations for Bethesda Hospital in Boynton Beach -
Normal hours 8am-4pm and weekends off!!!!!!!!! I have went though all of the interview process and they are flying me down on Sunday to meet with the client.
I am a bit concerned about the background check as you know I have my past Felony DUI from 2009.
I have the letter from the Supreme Courts in Arizona setting aside all judgement of guilt and adjudicating me of my crime- but it will still show on a background check.
Also my back pain has subsided enormously without any medical procedures Baruch HaShem.
May I ask that you please pray for me that everything will work out with this new role and my background check if you would be kind enough to do that for me.
I would very much appreciate it.
Thank you for changing my life.
Via Text Message
Team HaShem TeShuva Story!
I grew up in a secular family that only had meals and said blessing on wine for Shabbat and holidays. My parents and Rabbi in the community never told me how wasting seed was bad. I always loved and was happy being Jewish, I went to Jewish camp and Jewish release program since I went to public school because it was hard for my parents to pay for yeshiva since I was in Special Ed. When I went to camp they told me that if you keep Shabbat, Shabbat will keep you safe and blessing. But it never made me keep Shabbat as a teenager after hear those words from the Rabbi in camp. At age 17 I had anxiety and panic attacks, I was going to the hospital for 2 months almost every day then one day while getting my medication in the pharmacy, I see Rabbi Mizrahi CDs, Torah and Science, Is there Life After Death and The Debate, then I texted Rabbi Mizrahi saying my parents don't keep Shabbat so I can't keep it either. He said that's not a good excuse that when I die, I can't tell them that I didn't keep Shabbat because my parents didn't, I will still go to Hell!! I spoke over the phone, in person and met Rabbi Mizrahi few times in person. After 1 or 2 years I discovered Rabbi Reuven thanks to Rav Mizrahi’s page. I started being in touch with Chacham Reuven and asked him if I can help him return Hashem’s children back to Hashem, for 3 years already I am part of Team Hashem. I meet Chacham Reuven few times in person, he guided me on how to stop wasting seed and how to do teshuva!!
K’vod HaRav, the lectures are the best thing that could have happened to me. The first lecture actually changed my life. I went on Chabad.org and read up on Gehinnom; the article portrayed a place like a washing machine and never influenced me to stop sinning. After watching your lecture on Gehinnom I was shaking all night. Afterwards I put in Tefillin for the first time since my bar mitzvah and I will never forget that moment.
Team HaShem TeShuva Story!
My name is Emmanuil and I'm from the small Balkan country of Bulgaria.
This is the story of my journey to Judaism.
I was born in the year 1993 to a very devout evangelical Christian family. Ever since we were small children my parents used to raise me and my brother in a religious household and environment where we would go to church twice a week, pray, bless for our food and do almost daily Bible studies at home. My parents used to know personally all the big spiritual leaders and pastors in my hometown, visiting each other at our homes and maintaining deep friendships with them on a high level. With all this being said, one would wonder why I'm not the model example of the perfect Christian boy today?
Despite my upbringing, I was quite a handful as a small child and always had my own personal opinion on all matters. I was never an atheist and I never had a doubt for the existence of a Creator, but I had my own understanding of G-d and what a G-d should be like...
I used to ponder a lot as a child about the existence of G-d, about how He cannot be anything like His creation, How He cannot be anything but a One G-d, how He would be all knowing and all powerful, Almighty, everything would depend on Him but He would not be dependent on anything - for me, this was the G-d I believed in as a child. I have always considered myself a monotheist even at that early stage in my upbringing. In our Bible readings with my family I was being introduced to people like Abraham, David, Joseph and Moses; I used to get introduced to the commandments of G-d and naturally I was amazed at the stories of their passionate devotion to Him and His laws. The so called "Old Testament" was so exciting for me and I started to make a connection between what it said and what I believed as a child until we would get to the second part of the book and I would be introduced to the supposed three persons of god, a man of flesh and blood (Yeshu) who was born from the womb of a woman and whom I was suddenly in need to acknowledge as something else than a mere man! I couldn't wrap my childhood brain on how and why G-d would need to change His concise and clear message to mankind (of following His laws), and demand a human sacrifice with abandonment of the Torah instead? I couldn't understand why He would previously punish people in the Old Testament for worshiping created beings and products of human hands and yet demand that people worship Him only through a man in the New Testament? I couldn't understand why He would reveal His supposed new message in Greek as opposed to Hebrew, all of a sudden?
This was just a part of the things I struggled with as a child, all the different people visiting my house used to try and explain how their god is like an egg (with three parts to it), but I knew that my G-d was not an egg! Despite my family's best efforts to explain to me that now the church is the new Israel and we do things differently I silently lost my interest in the Bible all together understanding it to be some kind of a mistake or a good story gone wrong.
Fast forward in my life, I was developing into a teenager and even though I still had no doubt in the existence of this One G-d from my childhood, I was interested only in living my life and having fun at the time. "I would look for G-d later, I'll worry about this when I'm old" I thought.
Fast forward even further, when I was about to graduate from high school, I was excited about wrestling and lifting weights. Going to parties, having lots of friends, I met a new girlfriend, I started my first real job as a security guard at a nightclub, I still felt like I had no time to ask questions about G-d at the age of 19 - teen either.
One could say I had almost everything a guy like me would dream for at that time.
However, all this carefree lifestyle was about to change real soon for me, and G-d would soon remind me of His existence...
I came back home from a regular night out with my friends, around the early hours of the morning, washed up and got to bed like any other time. Nothing out of the ordinary so far, yet this time it turned out to be something very special and a big turning point in my life. I went to bed, quickly dozed off to sleep and had an extraordinary dream. Now despite what you might expect this dream was not some supernatural experience, I didn't hear voices or see any flashing images, yet I still call it special because I somehow was able to envision something even more important for my life at the time...
What I understood in my dream was what a horrible lifestyle I was actually living, how empty and how sad I was. How disappointed of myself and how ashamed I was for the things I did in comparison to what G-d did for me on a regular basis. He provided me with food so I can have the energy to go and do bad deeds, he gave me a mouth and I used it to speak evil all day, He made me healthy and I sinned in return. As cliche as it may be, I woke up from that dream determined to be a new person, to finally put my life in order and find what my purpose in life is - it was finally time to look for my Father in Heaven!
I understood right away that I couldn't continue and live the way I lived, and no partying, getting into trouble with my horrible friends at the time, or anything else for that matter could fill the spiritual void in my soul. I did what I thought was the best thing to do in my situation at the time and just isolated myself from almost everyone I knew, I cut all contact with my former friends. I quit my job, at the nightclub and virtually locked myself at my house and devoted my time to figuring out what I needed to do next. All day long I would watch debates about religion and all types of lectures trying to figure out the truth, I cried and I prayed a lot, I spent a lot of sleepless nights calling out to G-d and asking for Him to help me find the right path. This period was the start of my search for G-d and it took about three years of my life to find the religion I today believe to be the truth. After looking at the doctrines of christianity and doing research on Islam, I finally decided to look at what the people of Israel had to offer. After all, the Jews were "the people of the book" and the origin for the knowledge of the G-d of Abraham. When I started researching about Judaism I had the shock of my life, I was extremely impressed with the account of a first and only national revelation of G-d to a whole nation of people - men, women and children at the foot of mount Sinai! How according to Judaism, the Creator never changed His mind and never gave a New Testament or a Q'uran, but maintained His promises and covenants to His people. When I looked at the Rambam's 13 principles of faith I couldn't believe what I was reading, especially the first five principles of faith touched my heart deeply and I knew these are the words of my G-d, the one I dreamed about in my childhood! I still didn't know much about Judaism and my knowledge gaps were tremendous but my enthusiasm was very strong, I didn't want to waste a second from now on. I abandoned eating unclean animals even with my limited and in some ways not accurate understanding at the time, started keeping Shabbat according to how I understood it at the time and threw the New Testament literally out the window as far as I could! I also found a day job and I saved up money for a lot of new books, I bought a Chumash, a Tanach, a Kitzur Shulchan aruch and I even saved up money and had a medical Circumcision at a hospital. I didn't even know how to properly serve G-d, about the Noahide laws or even that I needed to Convert first in order to be Jewish... All I knew was I finally found the truth, I was happy and excited. In the eyes of my family I was undoubtedly crazy, and we used to debate a lot about my newfound faith but I was determined to keep my beliefs.
At this stage I was blessed with another big event in my life, I met the person who would help me tremendously in my journey, I met with Rabbi Yaron Reuven on Facebook and began to ask him questions. I started learning from him and his lectures on a daily basis. He even helped me to come in contact with the Jewish community in the Capital of Bulgaria and start a conversion process there. A little before I started the conversation process, me and my family left my hometown and started a small dairy farm in the country. As you would imagine it wasn't easy for me, but Rabbi Reuven basically took me under his wing and supported me even financially so I could visit the Jewish community in Sofia and study for my conversion, for which I would always be grateful to him. Now I'm 26 years old and hopefully at the end of my conversion and at the end of my spiritual journey.
I hope the people who are reading this short summary of my story will find it interesting, but above all inspirational. I didn't have the privilege to be born Jewish and I had to sacrifice everything I know and love in order to pursue what some people take for granted - just to call myself an ordinary Jew and follow the laws of the Torah, and I'm still fighting for that dream today.
My message to you is be grateful and appreciate your Judaism! There is no other thing like the Torah or the G-d of Israel in this world, you have been given a tremendous blessing and honor to be able to call yourself a servant of Hashem - a Jew! And I pray and hope that my journey will help you realize what you have and cherish the enormous treasure that you were given.
Team HaShem TeShuva Story!