My son was very very bad some time ago; he was like this since he was born 9 years ago. Cursing was an everyday thing, hitting us, throwing things, problems at school, and life in our home was Geinom really. We had to do something, but what? We prayed, I did pray to H`m to show me the correct path, what did I do wrong? I continue asking him that, once and again and couldn´t reach to an answer. Years passed and we suffer, more and more, doctors, appointments, more and more, medicines, more medicines that didn´t do anything to him or made him worse.
Until one day, last week, our son got an overdose of a medication. The weird thing is that the maximum dosage of that medication per kilogram is 1500 mg, he was only taking 500 mg/kg and he overdose with it. Who would have known that? He could have died!!!! I was called from school to pick him up and when I reach there he was crazy, under a table, half naked, crying but eyes closed (dozed like dopped), still with strength though. It was awful to see because the doctors have to give him an injection to be able to calm him down and get him in the ambulance to take him to the emergency room. When the medication was doing effect he was like a statue, like a crazy drugged person, not moving not even his eyes. I was just soooooo sad to see him like that, my little child. My heart was broken into pieces.
After many hours, the effect was getting off his system and he fought and groaned for everything, nurses told me it was a normal thing after the medicine they had given him.
After some time, my husband came and I could go home with my other 3 year old son.
He remained in the hospital. Next day I was with him all day, until he was normal again. When we got off the hospital and reached home by the afternoon my husband and I talked.
I felt so bad for all that had happened, I knew it was our fault. So I told my husband, I do not want to lose a child. Let´s do this, let´s keep the pact of Abraham Avinu, but both of us, you don't lose semen in vain, take care of your eyes and study Torah and I will be with you every single time you wanted me to with NO EXCUSES, of course you know that is hard for me because of the medicine I take I am never willing to be with you in that way.
It’s a deal, we hugged.
It was Friday, so we went to the synagogue while the kids stayed at home with a nanny. On Saturday, when they were reading the Torah, I realize the parasha was Ki tetze, I told my husband, NO WAY!!!!!!!!! In that parasha Moshe tells the people that when a man has emission of semen at night he has to go away of the campsite and then into a mikveh to get in again, because the campsite has to be holy. Also, it talks about the rebel son. Oh no, if this is not a message from H'm, WHAT IS?
From that day on, our son is a completely different kid. COMPLETELY DIFFERENT KID. It is like all the devil he had, went away. He almost doesn't curse at all, he used to call me prostitute all the time and damned, it hurt me so much. Also hit us and we couldn't even talk or have a conversation with him because it was like his capability for reasoning was completely gone. He put his hands in his ears and start singing.
Now, he gets angry, but it´s a different angry, he doesn't throw a plate to your face, he hits his fist against his leg or his foot against the floor saying "it is not fair", like a normal boy!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
He is more sweet, he apologizes easily, he is not so hyperactive. HE IS ANOTHER BOY! He is the boy that was inside trying to get out and we didn't let him, with so much tumá over him... poor little thing.
When a person thinks that when he wastes semen in vain it doesn't affect him or his family, all of that is NONSENSE!!! and I am telling you by experience. H'm showed us in the hard way because we lived with a "devil kid" for 9 years, going from one doctor to another, even going to another country to make a diagnose and loosing so much time of our lives fighting with him, crying over this crazy life of us. It was impossible to teach him anything, he was so oppositionist, cruel, but inside, sometimes he showed that little sweet boy. I knew it was somewhere inside, but what I didn't know was that what it didn´t let him get out was the jail WE PARENTS HAD BUILT around him because of our big sin. All those demons, were on him.
Now, they are dying, they are going away, as we are taking care of the Abraham pact and my husband is studying Torah. I am trying to do more mitzvot, or improve the ones I make.
I thank you H'm for showing me the way.
A week has passed and we have a sweet boy who behaves like a boy, medicine is doing what it is supposed to do, much more accessible, almost no cursing, apologizes! I cannot describe this. My husband still thinks is a phase. I know if we continue our part, H'm will take those demons and kill them so they are not going to bother our son again. I listened to your shiurim about this and it is just like you describe it.
I wanted to tell you.
Ruth (South America)