Secular life kept me from living my life--the life Hashem intended for me. He tried to give it to me, he loves me. I was lost, confused, uninformed, rebellious. I turned away toward nothingness, every time I chose wrongly. I struggled. Over-self-reliant.--though I believed and loved Hashem, I did not rely. I did not openly or consistently communicate with Hashem. I did not learn Torah, I did not avail myself of teachers, I falsely believed I was separated from my religious community. Not living Torah is a tragedy for everyone.

Now I am coming home, and I know where I belonged all along. Somehow this was a long road in a circle back to who I really am in the first place. A person of Jewish faith, a daughter of an ancient people, with a special relationship to our Creator. I do want to be home, the difference is vast, it is natural, and the shells must be peeled away. I must get my daily Torah, work on observing, practicing, and pass every test perfectly (overcome the wrong inclinations, and manage the tikun without giving in/up/out) to survive a day at a time, despite challenges, consequences, weaknesses, circumstances.

I am grateful for Rabbi Reuven who teaches us Torah and T'shuva like I've never heard before. I am so grateful and relieved to hear the truth about our Torah. I need the truth, I need the guidance and mentorship.

Rabbi Reuven's honesty, bravery, tenacity, humanity, and example, is motivating and inspiring. Hashem is evident in the gifts, fortitude, genius, openness, relate-ability, and transcendence, that Rabbi Reuven has, shares, and demonstrates.

Thank you, Be'Ezrat Hashem.